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Last week I was attending a large parenting conference at which I was presenting. I was sitting at my book-signing table and the conference coordinator approached me with a question concerning her teenage daughter’s inappropriate behavior.

I ask her the two following questions:

1. Do you think your daughter respects you as a parent and a person?

2. Do you think your daughter feels she is entitled to do what she wants without permission? (as long as it is not too crazy)

Her reply was yes to the first and no to the second.

As we continued to talk, her daughter, who was at the conference, came up to her, interrupted our conversation and said I need five dollars for food. (notice this is not a question, but rather a command)

Her mother said, “I will be with you in a minute”

I then watched in amassment as her daughter went into her purse sitting on the table, took out a twenty-dollar bill, and walked away say, “I will see you later”

I turned to the mother and asked her, “What would your daughter say, do, or think if you went into her purse with out asking permission?”
The mother looked at me with wide open eyes and said,” She would be upset that I invaded her privacy and felt a lack of respect and trust”

I asked her if she now wanted to change the answers to the questions I asked.

Her daughter did not respect her as a mother or a person and felt entitled to the money, and the right to go into her purse without asking permission.
How do I know this…..by the daughters action……

Some of you might think this is no big deal.
Trust and Respect are two corner stones of effective leadership…..that is what parenting is about.
If you don’t have respect or trust you will not be an effective leader or parent

As for entitlement……. This young lady believes she deserves what she wants and controls others because she can……..

Think about this story and what we are teaching our children…….

Remember repetition of small actions escalates into larger and more permanent actions

Fred